(36th Entry) To live in two worlds…

I’ve said many times so far the phrase “To be disabled or not to be Disabled. That is the question. It’s a choice.” We hear so often that you can’t live in two worlds, but I think with the issue of disability that’s exactly what we do. I receive emails often now commenting on my blog, asking questions and feeding back to me one’s interpretation of what I said. So often I hear people who think or write that my writing comes across as if I think I’m… Whatever their interpretation may be of what I’ve said. This is the most difficult aspect of writing a blog.

How do you write about where you came from, where you are and where you want to go at the same time?

Ultimately what makes us successful in life is learning how to live in various worlds at the same time. This is the direction I think that my blog is heading. By “various worlds” I mean we all have multiple aspects to our lives. We work, we’re children of, we’re parents of, we’re friends of and… All of us have multiple roles in life.

The issue of disability is just another role. Albeit a major role for those of us who are perceived as being… I think I’ve said this before, but the object is to be a person who happens to have a disability, yet not to be a disabled individual. I might have a disability on the outside and as I’ve said before we all have a disability… visible or not… a wound that causes us pain.

The choice is… I can be perceived as… and yet not be… I can live in two worlds. This is what has taken me so long to figure out in life. I can have a disability on the outside and yet still be who I choose to be on the inside. This is the choice!

I talk a lot about the struggle of having a disability. These are the things that I didn’t understand or was never exposed to or denied somehow in my life. Of course, I’ll be the first to admit that maybe I just didn’t hear them. Maybe I didn’t want to hear them.

I get told often… you’re not disabled! You can do anything. This is the ultimate compliment. Yet the very fact that someone says it… I’m reminded constantly that I’m different… positively and negatively at times.

The reason why I talk so much about the struggle at this point is that it was working through and understanding the struggle that made it possible for me to begin to be that person who happened to have a disability and not just a disabled person “going on with life.”

Some people interpret my writing as if I feel and think that I’m disabled. They want me to know that they don’t consider me disabled. Thanks… and this is wonderful! Others write and talk about the fact they have or feel a bond with me even though they might not have a disability. They relate because they too have gone through a struggle in life. Thanks… and this is wonderful!

How do I perceive myself today… Disabled or not Disabled? I live in two worlds and will always live in two worlds in regards to this aspect of my life. I am both. I have a choice today to decide how I’m going act and/or react to this aspect of my life.