I wish I could tell you that there’s any easy way to “deal” with the issue of disability… It’s strange… as I write I wonder if some people really do think it’s easy. If so, this blog probably isn’t for them. I remember back when I had my non-profit organization, D.O.E.S. in Texas. I wanted to conduct support groups for disabled individuals. Many of the disabled individual’s said, why should I sit around and talk about my disability… I live with it every day. On the other hand, caregivers, family members, etc. were much more eager to have some place to go to talk about the issues they were facing. Why is this?
Maybe a simple reason is… It’s seems easier to be the person going through “something” than the person around “something”. Or maybe the people around disabled individuals see the potential, the pain, and the struggle to a greater degree and feel helpless to a greater degree than the person going “through” the issues. Thus they have a greater need to express their feelings. The reality is… the issue affects everyone around and it affects all of us in different ways to greater or lesser degrees.
How do we “work through” the issues? I’ve said that a disability is anything that keeps us from doing or trying or feeling good about ourselves... a very broad definition! And… I don’t think there’s a magical answer, a quick fix, to working through the issues.
What does it mean to “deal with” or “work through” the issue of disability? For me, it’s definitely been a process. It’s not a linear process. I wasn’t just born the way that I was born and life went on. With me growing up there were doctor visits, operations, many decisions to be made as well as just the normal growing process that brought there own issues. It’s easy to get stuck in just the survival mode or in this case what Maslow called the biological and physiological needs.
When I was born in 1960, the doctor’s told my parents I wouldn’t live, obviously I did so then they told my parents I would never talk or walk. Well, I’ve done all three... lived, talked and walked! What’s next?
People have asked me many times… How did you learn to…? An example… How did you learn how to tie your shoe? Simple answer… I watched someone else and I learned how to adapt it to myself. You put one lace under the other…. And at the end you pull.
A little story… I honestly don’t know if this story is true or not, but what I do know about stories is that they have a deeper meaning sometimes or the essence is true. In a previous blog I mentioned going to Scottish Rites Hospital in Dallas. I had artificial arms. The doctors felt that it was important for me to have the opportunity to try them out. According to the stories around my family (because I was very young at the time) is that I only wore them when I was at the hospital. I didn’t wear them at home or have any inclination to try much with them. I even have memories of taking them off before I reached the door and flinging over my shoulder on the way out of the hospital.
Story: My story in my head… One day they’re trying to make me, teach me to tie my shoe with the artificial arms. I get extremely frustrated, take them off and tie my shoe without them. My Mom remarks, “I guess he doesn’t need them!” As I said, I don’t know if this is a true (factual) story or not. But somewhere early on I did quit using them and having to go to physical therapy 3 times a week.
Now this could have actually been an incident when they were trying to get me to use the artificial arms to open cabinets and drawers, etc. They had made a big wooden board full of all different types of handles, drawer pulls, etc. just for me. Or the story in my head could be total fiction! Maybe when my Mom, my Dad or my Brother reads this entry they’ll make a comment and we can hear their memories.
Bottom Line: The myth is real. At least for me… the myth is real.
Side Note: I did wear them for show and tell when I went to kindergarten and 1st grade. They were great for pinching the other kids. I wore them one year for Halloween in college. I had a hospital gown, etc. Many years later I wore them again for Halloween. This time I wore an Army jacket and had a cardboard sign that said "Disabled Vet... Need Money" I offended someone who had been in the military... I felt bad and apologized. That was not my intention at all. Even being disabled there are limits to what you can say and do, even if you think you're only making fun of yourself or trying to get others to feel comfortable with the issue of disability.
Questions for future blogs: Why are myths important? What do they tell us about ourselves?
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
(18th Entry) IMAGINE!
Imagine… being a little kid… going out into the world trying to do things that other kids do and… having others stare at you, asking… “What’s wrong with you? What happened to you? “Here, let me help you? The worst is when parents of young kids grab their children when they begin to stare or ask questions as if there’s something morbidly wrong. I’ve literally seen parent clasps their hand over their child’s mouth and drag them away. (Although… every once in a while, you’ll have a parent say to their child… “Why don’t you go talk to them, ask them…”)
As a little child or a newly disabled individual, how are you supposed to deal with this? Because… at the same time, if you’re actually out in the world trying to do things or actually doing things you’re hearing… You’re amazing. You’re a miracle. I couldn’t do that if… God has big plans for you. You can do anything if… You’re such an inspiration…
Imagine again being this little kid… On the one hand, people are staring at you as if you’re a freak in a circus side-show ever being reminded that you’re different somehow. Yet… On the other hand, you have this feeling of responsibility being placed upon you. Yes, you’re different and because of this you hold “power” over people. You have an influence, an ability “to get” or “to get out of”!
It’s a very complex phenomenon or dichotomy! For me it eventually posed itself in the form of this question… “How am I the same and how am I different?” A question, a dilemma which occupied my life for many years...
Imagine again you’re that child… or maybe recently injured in a traumatic event. Imagine you’re the parent of… the sibling of… a friend of… How are you feeling? What are you thinking? Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you numb? In the beginning, you’re just trying to survive… to do… You’re trying to meet those basic needs (See Entry 12… Maslow’s Hierarchy of…) You’re “just trying to go on with life”!
A question that I’ve been asked is… What is my opinion of the difference between someone born with a disability and some who becomes disabled later in life? One thing that I’ve noticed is that someone disabled later in life usually doesn’t struggle with this question of… How am I the same and how am I different in quite the same way? If you’re injured towards your late adolescent years or later you’ve had the opportunity to “be the same”, to experience life as being “normal”… what ever that is…
Another simple observation along with a little investigation… people who have a healthy, happy life prior to being injured seem to have happy healthy lives after an injury… maybe not overnight, but eventually. And then others who become injured later in life, take this opportunity to have a useful, healthy and happy life… others don’t. I’ve had people tell me that becoming disabled was the greatest blessing that they had ever been given in life. Their live’s had finally been given meaning or maybe as I put it they gave meaning to what happened to them. They actually had to look at their lives as opposed to just going on with life.
As a little child or a newly disabled individual, how are you supposed to deal with this? Because… at the same time, if you’re actually out in the world trying to do things or actually doing things you’re hearing… You’re amazing. You’re a miracle. I couldn’t do that if… God has big plans for you. You can do anything if… You’re such an inspiration…
Imagine again being this little kid… On the one hand, people are staring at you as if you’re a freak in a circus side-show ever being reminded that you’re different somehow. Yet… On the other hand, you have this feeling of responsibility being placed upon you. Yes, you’re different and because of this you hold “power” over people. You have an influence, an ability “to get” or “to get out of”!
It’s a very complex phenomenon or dichotomy! For me it eventually posed itself in the form of this question… “How am I the same and how am I different?” A question, a dilemma which occupied my life for many years...
Imagine again you’re that child… or maybe recently injured in a traumatic event. Imagine you’re the parent of… the sibling of… a friend of… How are you feeling? What are you thinking? Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you numb? In the beginning, you’re just trying to survive… to do… You’re trying to meet those basic needs (See Entry 12… Maslow’s Hierarchy of…) You’re “just trying to go on with life”!
A question that I’ve been asked is… What is my opinion of the difference between someone born with a disability and some who becomes disabled later in life? One thing that I’ve noticed is that someone disabled later in life usually doesn’t struggle with this question of… How am I the same and how am I different in quite the same way? If you’re injured towards your late adolescent years or later you’ve had the opportunity to “be the same”, to experience life as being “normal”… what ever that is…
Another simple observation along with a little investigation… people who have a healthy, happy life prior to being injured seem to have happy healthy lives after an injury… maybe not overnight, but eventually. And then others who become injured later in life, take this opportunity to have a useful, healthy and happy life… others don’t. I’ve had people tell me that becoming disabled was the greatest blessing that they had ever been given in life. Their live’s had finally been given meaning or maybe as I put it they gave meaning to what happened to them. They actually had to look at their lives as opposed to just going on with life.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
(17th Entry) Why does it matter?
Why does it matter how people react to us? Why does it matter when people pretend that I’m (you’re) not there? I’m taught that that I’m OK as I am… who I am. I’m told to “go out” and be like everyone else. I'm supposed to do as much as I can. And then… to only be treated as if I don’t exist. Or that others don’t want to acknowledge my presence. How am I supposed to react? What am I suppose to feel? We can pretend that this doesn’t happen and just go on with life. Maybe for some that philosophy works. I doubt it though. Somewhere within us all there’s a part that really doesn’t like it. There’s a part that asks why? Is there something wrong with me… or? What’s wrong with “those” people?
Everything I write about comes from my own experiences combined with the experiences of watching and listening to those around me. When you have a physical disability and especially a speech impediment you’re going to get discounted by some people. That’s a fact… How I, we respond is up to us.
The interesting thing about writing these blogs, a single blog entry, is that I’m usually addressing a single side of an issue. People ask me or say to me… that doesn’t seem like you… is that how you feel? That’s really the point… I’m, we’re all sides of these vignettes. When I pretend that these events don’t happen in life or I’m totally unaware of them happening is when I’m going to… What is the “to”?
One of the problems as I see it is that we see these remarkable stories of individuals and all that they have over-come, but we don’t understand what it “took”, the inside story, the process that people go through to “get through”! I’m beginning to understand why. It’s difficult to convey in a uni-dimensional medium. It’s like one of those convoluted movies trying to show an event from all perspectives, winding up at a single moment in time.
I remember being in college beginning to make friends in a whole new environment. One day while visiting a mall, a friend made a comment to the effect… when I’m with you it’s as if everyone is staring at us. How do you… ? I think I had been on auto-pilot for so long I had not even noticed or truly remembered what she was talking about. And then one of those store events happened while we were out one day as well. Another example… my friends in college quickly learned to have me go to the bar to buy the drinks at clubs, because the bartenders always made my drinks better (stronger)! In those days, my friends and I considered this a good thing. Having people react is not always a bad thing, a negative thing. That’s probably one of the points. Although when you’re obsessed or unaware (actually one I the same) or angry at the negative the positive can easily get overlooked.
It’s easy to label things as positive and negative. We view events in our lives as good or bad. Things just happen and we go on as if… The problem is that we end up “down the road” not knowing how we got there or why? That’s why it matters…
People still stare at me 25 years later. I go through phases of noticing and then not noticing. The difference today is that it doesn’t bother me as much today… or at least in the same way that it did back then. Stay tuned for more vignettes to find out why…
Everything I write about comes from my own experiences combined with the experiences of watching and listening to those around me. When you have a physical disability and especially a speech impediment you’re going to get discounted by some people. That’s a fact… How I, we respond is up to us.
The interesting thing about writing these blogs, a single blog entry, is that I’m usually addressing a single side of an issue. People ask me or say to me… that doesn’t seem like you… is that how you feel? That’s really the point… I’m, we’re all sides of these vignettes. When I pretend that these events don’t happen in life or I’m totally unaware of them happening is when I’m going to… What is the “to”?
One of the problems as I see it is that we see these remarkable stories of individuals and all that they have over-come, but we don’t understand what it “took”, the inside story, the process that people go through to “get through”! I’m beginning to understand why. It’s difficult to convey in a uni-dimensional medium. It’s like one of those convoluted movies trying to show an event from all perspectives, winding up at a single moment in time.
I remember being in college beginning to make friends in a whole new environment. One day while visiting a mall, a friend made a comment to the effect… when I’m with you it’s as if everyone is staring at us. How do you… ? I think I had been on auto-pilot for so long I had not even noticed or truly remembered what she was talking about. And then one of those store events happened while we were out one day as well. Another example… my friends in college quickly learned to have me go to the bar to buy the drinks at clubs, because the bartenders always made my drinks better (stronger)! In those days, my friends and I considered this a good thing. Having people react is not always a bad thing, a negative thing. That’s probably one of the points. Although when you’re obsessed or unaware (actually one I the same) or angry at the negative the positive can easily get overlooked.
It’s easy to label things as positive and negative. We view events in our lives as good or bad. Things just happen and we go on as if… The problem is that we end up “down the road” not knowing how we got there or why? That’s why it matters…
People still stare at me 25 years later. I go through phases of noticing and then not noticing. The difference today is that it doesn’t bother me as much today… or at least in the same way that it did back then. Stay tuned for more vignettes to find out why…
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
(16th Entry) Going to the store…
This is a short vignette on what it means to have a disability… Growing up and even today there’s a common scenario that takes place which anyone with any type of disability can relate too. I go to the store. I buy some items and proceed to the check-out stand. I have someone with me, maybe we’re talking… it doesn’t matter, but it’s obvious that we’re together. I place the items on the check-out table and hand the person the money. Nine times out of ten… the person not only hands the change back to the person with me, but addresses that person with any questions that they might have.
This might sound odd to those that have never experienced it. Others try to make you feel better by coming up with reasons that this might happen or it’s just…
One of the things that I try to do when I work with other disabled individuals is to help them understand that there is an effect that we have on others. We can debate if this is good or bad or just is what it is… But, the thing that I try to emphasize to individuals is that the only thing that matters is how we, ourselves, interpret this situation. How does it make us feel? How do we react? What do we allow these situations to keep us from doing? How does it make us feel about ourselves is the bottom line. How we interpret our interactions with others is what we have an ability to control within ourselves.
These events and how we interpret them are the one’s that determine if we’re just going to just go on with life blindly, become motivated or slip into learned helplessness.
Back to the vignette… I don’t like that I get reacted to in this way! Can I change it? No! But… I can act or react to it. That’s my choice. First, I only have the choice when I am aware of it happening. Second, how I act is based upon quite a few things. How do I feel about myself? What kind of mood am I in? Am I angry about this situation and who I am? The list goes on… In other words, I can effect the situation positively or negatively based upon how and where I am coming from.
This might sound odd to those that have never experienced it. Others try to make you feel better by coming up with reasons that this might happen or it’s just…
One of the things that I try to do when I work with other disabled individuals is to help them understand that there is an effect that we have on others. We can debate if this is good or bad or just is what it is… But, the thing that I try to emphasize to individuals is that the only thing that matters is how we, ourselves, interpret this situation. How does it make us feel? How do we react? What do we allow these situations to keep us from doing? How does it make us feel about ourselves is the bottom line. How we interpret our interactions with others is what we have an ability to control within ourselves.
These events and how we interpret them are the one’s that determine if we’re just going to just go on with life blindly, become motivated or slip into learned helplessness.
Back to the vignette… I don’t like that I get reacted to in this way! Can I change it? No! But… I can act or react to it. That’s my choice. First, I only have the choice when I am aware of it happening. Second, how I act is based upon quite a few things. How do I feel about myself? What kind of mood am I in? Am I angry about this situation and who I am? The list goes on… In other words, I can effect the situation positively or negatively based upon how and where I am coming from.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
(15th Entry) What motivates people?
What motivates me? What is motivation to me? Motivation happens over time. I’m not driven “to do” at all times even when I have something that I want to accomplish. There are times that I get excited and may be do a little more, but over-all I do things a little at a time.
Deadlines motivate me. That’s why I say when I’m going to post my next entry. I’ve always said I do my best work under pressure. Actually, it might not be my best work, sometimes it’s the only work.
In my mission statement I say that I want to do motivational speeches. So often I see motivational speakers trying to motivate people by getting them excited, making them feel…
Sometimes I go somewhere and think that I’m getting motivated only to leave feeling empty. Excitement only lasts so long. It’s easy for me to feel motivated and good about myself when I’m around others. Real motivation for me comes when I’m alone and still feel as if I need or want to accomplish something.
Where does this desire to do or accomplish come from? Usually, for me, it comes from this little nagging voice deep within me. It serves as a little reminder in subtle ways that I want to do something. Sometimes it takes time for me to even recognize that it’s something important to me. For instance, many of the items in my mission statement have been dreams of mine for 30 years or even longer.
What helps me begin to act on this motivation? Sometimes it’s just a simple comment from someone. Other times it an uncontrollable urge. Usually it’s a slow process that in hindsight developed one little piece at a time.
I guess for me motivation comes from understanding the pieces. My life has been a series of segments… each segment building upon the last. I don’t have some master plan for my life. My life is a lot like this blog… unconsciously it just seems to go from one point to the next… naturally.
When I say I want to do motivational speaking, it’s not that I want to go out and get people excited. Maybe by looking at their lives using the issue of disability as a metaphor people might be able to piece the pieces of their lives together with a little different perspective.
Getting a new perspective motivates me! Being able to look at situations differently motivates me! That’s a different type of excitement than… look at what I’ve done or what I can do or making people feel…
Back when I interviewed for jobs I used to sell the idea that having a disability and having to do things a little differently helped me “think out of the box” naturally. It gave me a fresh perspective on old problems. I believe this is true. The only problem is that most people are more comfortable with the familiar. As much as we say we want to change, think out of the box… the truth is…
Deadlines motivate me. That’s why I say when I’m going to post my next entry. I’ve always said I do my best work under pressure. Actually, it might not be my best work, sometimes it’s the only work.
In my mission statement I say that I want to do motivational speeches. So often I see motivational speakers trying to motivate people by getting them excited, making them feel…
Sometimes I go somewhere and think that I’m getting motivated only to leave feeling empty. Excitement only lasts so long. It’s easy for me to feel motivated and good about myself when I’m around others. Real motivation for me comes when I’m alone and still feel as if I need or want to accomplish something.
Where does this desire to do or accomplish come from? Usually, for me, it comes from this little nagging voice deep within me. It serves as a little reminder in subtle ways that I want to do something. Sometimes it takes time for me to even recognize that it’s something important to me. For instance, many of the items in my mission statement have been dreams of mine for 30 years or even longer.
What helps me begin to act on this motivation? Sometimes it’s just a simple comment from someone. Other times it an uncontrollable urge. Usually it’s a slow process that in hindsight developed one little piece at a time.
I guess for me motivation comes from understanding the pieces. My life has been a series of segments… each segment building upon the last. I don’t have some master plan for my life. My life is a lot like this blog… unconsciously it just seems to go from one point to the next… naturally.
When I say I want to do motivational speaking, it’s not that I want to go out and get people excited. Maybe by looking at their lives using the issue of disability as a metaphor people might be able to piece the pieces of their lives together with a little different perspective.
Getting a new perspective motivates me! Being able to look at situations differently motivates me! That’s a different type of excitement than… look at what I’ve done or what I can do or making people feel…
Back when I interviewed for jobs I used to sell the idea that having a disability and having to do things a little differently helped me “think out of the box” naturally. It gave me a fresh perspective on old problems. I believe this is true. The only problem is that most people are more comfortable with the familiar. As much as we say we want to change, think out of the box… the truth is…
Thursday, December 20, 2007
(14th Entry) “Learned Helplessness”
I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about this phrase. I’m not really for sure when or where I picked it up, but…
L E A R N E D H E L P L E S S N E S S!!!
It seems to me that most people want to do, be able to do, try to do… everything that they possibly can. I’ve found that most people like to be self sufficient, to be able to take care of themselves… physically, financially, emotionally, etc.
What happens then? Why do some people give up? Why do others choose not to do things for themselves?
I’ve always thought this phrase “learned helplessness” says so much. Call me naïve, but I think most people start out life with a great desire to be successful. Over time, things happen. We either keep fighting, persevering or we acquiesce to life, to our circumstances. We give in or maybe take what we perceive as the easier way. My 5th entry, “Things Happen for a Reason… Or Do They” touches on this. But there’s more.
And then again, who doesn’t want to take the easier way or have people do things for them? I can be very lazy at times. But… I can also be very stubborn, persevering. Just tell me “I can’t”!
I wrote this earlier and now am coming back to it because I didn’t know how to continue. In my head I so clearly see this concept. In my own life… people will say, “Let me do that for you…” or “Wow, I can’t believe you do that” or “If I were you I would take advantage of…” or … We start out ambitious and then we’re given a way out. It’s ok not to… There’s really no expectations for you to… There’s help out there for that. You don’t have to be responsible for that. The list goes on.
Have you ever had an employee and told them “no” twice… after that they never tried anything new or took any risks again. It’s as if some people persevere through anything and others give up after one or two adversities. Others go through long periods of tragedies and surface after years of despair.
Learned helplessness… The goods news is… that the opposite is true as well.
Some where, earlier life, I had this concept or idea in the back of my mind that since I had accomplished so much that people said that I would never or could never do, then life should be easy. Someone was going to come along and take care of everything. In a way that did happen, just not as I expected. Somewhere along the way I became that person. For most people it’s just called growing up. For some of us, extenuating circumstances prolong or distort this aspect of life.
L E A R N E D H E L P L E S S N E S S!!!
It seems to me that most people want to do, be able to do, try to do… everything that they possibly can. I’ve found that most people like to be self sufficient, to be able to take care of themselves… physically, financially, emotionally, etc.
What happens then? Why do some people give up? Why do others choose not to do things for themselves?
I’ve always thought this phrase “learned helplessness” says so much. Call me naïve, but I think most people start out life with a great desire to be successful. Over time, things happen. We either keep fighting, persevering or we acquiesce to life, to our circumstances. We give in or maybe take what we perceive as the easier way. My 5th entry, “Things Happen for a Reason… Or Do They” touches on this. But there’s more.
And then again, who doesn’t want to take the easier way or have people do things for them? I can be very lazy at times. But… I can also be very stubborn, persevering. Just tell me “I can’t”!
I wrote this earlier and now am coming back to it because I didn’t know how to continue. In my head I so clearly see this concept. In my own life… people will say, “Let me do that for you…” or “Wow, I can’t believe you do that” or “If I were you I would take advantage of…” or … We start out ambitious and then we’re given a way out. It’s ok not to… There’s really no expectations for you to… There’s help out there for that. You don’t have to be responsible for that. The list goes on.
Have you ever had an employee and told them “no” twice… after that they never tried anything new or took any risks again. It’s as if some people persevere through anything and others give up after one or two adversities. Others go through long periods of tragedies and surface after years of despair.
Learned helplessness… The goods news is… that the opposite is true as well.
Some where, earlier life, I had this concept or idea in the back of my mind that since I had accomplished so much that people said that I would never or could never do, then life should be easy. Someone was going to come along and take care of everything. In a way that did happen, just not as I expected. Somewhere along the way I became that person. For most people it’s just called growing up. For some of us, extenuating circumstances prolong or distort this aspect of life.
Monday, December 17, 2007
(13th Entry) To My Parents – Congratulations and Happy 50th
Today my parents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. CONGRATULATIONS!
So I want to tell them THANKS…
For all your love, encouragement and support…
For everything you’ve done for me and given me...
For giving me all types of opportunities to try things and experience things all of my life…
For always being there…
For making me the person that I am today…
As Rick (my brother) said yesterday, “You’re in a small club…” So enjoy it!
The whole family is celebrating together this week in Patzcuaro (that’s small city in Mexico) where my parents live. Yesterday we were going to have a party with around 125 people, but… My Dad had to have his defibrillator changed last week unexpectedly so they had to fly to Galveston. Everything went well. Both of my parent’s are doing great. We had a small intimate family dinner yesterday instead and are all going to the beach for five days of R & R tomorrow… then we all return together for Christmas!
So much that I’ve written about thus far in the blog and so much more that will come out comes directly from my family, my life and my experiences. (As I’ve said in earlier blogs their support has been incredible.)
As I write my blog and live my life today, I see so much of both my parent’s within me. I’m definitely a blend of them both.
Sometimes I think about my self and my parents (or other people in my life, or friends parents) and play an age game… I’m 47… that means… when my Dad was 47, I was 15… when my Mom was 47, I was 22! When we moved to our new house… When I started 1st grade... When I went to college... I don't know about you, but this gives me a whole different perspective on life!
Time passes way too quickly…
I’m lucky to have you both today… So let’s all enjoy!!!
So I want to tell them THANKS…
For all your love, encouragement and support…
For everything you’ve done for me and given me...
For giving me all types of opportunities to try things and experience things all of my life…
For always being there…
For making me the person that I am today…
As Rick (my brother) said yesterday, “You’re in a small club…” So enjoy it!
The whole family is celebrating together this week in Patzcuaro (that’s small city in Mexico) where my parents live. Yesterday we were going to have a party with around 125 people, but… My Dad had to have his defibrillator changed last week unexpectedly so they had to fly to Galveston. Everything went well. Both of my parent’s are doing great. We had a small intimate family dinner yesterday instead and are all going to the beach for five days of R & R tomorrow… then we all return together for Christmas!
So much that I’ve written about thus far in the blog and so much more that will come out comes directly from my family, my life and my experiences. (As I’ve said in earlier blogs their support has been incredible.)
As I write my blog and live my life today, I see so much of both my parent’s within me. I’m definitely a blend of them both.
Sometimes I think about my self and my parents (or other people in my life, or friends parents) and play an age game… I’m 47… that means… when my Dad was 47, I was 15… when my Mom was 47, I was 22! When we moved to our new house… When I started 1st grade... When I went to college... I don't know about you, but this gives me a whole different perspective on life!
Time passes way too quickly…
I’m lucky to have you both today… So let’s all enjoy!!!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
(12th Entry) Why?
As I change pace in the blog I’m at a loss of what to write about today. I’ve posted on the blog that I’ll have an entry for today, so I feel obligated? The blog is dedicated to the issue of disability, yet so far I’ve been writing essentially about myself, my experiences… Why?
What am I trying to accomplish with my blog? It’s an outlet for me. It is a way to begin to get some of my ideas “out there” and begin to get feedback. I guess the easiest way to explain where and what I think the blog is about is… In high school I was first exposed to Abraham Maslow. I was in a three hour advanced class in Dallas called, Man and His Environment. The class was geared towards the social sciences. I remember being fascinated with Maslow’s theory of needs. In the mid 1980’s after graduating from college and not being able to find a job I started a non-profit foundation called Disabled Orientation and Education Services (D.O.E.S.) in Nacogdoches, TX. So as you can see this blog is not my first foray into the issue of disability. Why do I keep coming back to it?
When I read Maslow, he described his theory of needs in terms of a pyramid. The bottom of the pyramid was “Biological and Physiological Needs”… food, water, etc. Once these needs were met then there were “Safety Needs”… protection, stability, law, etc. The third rung of the pyramid was “Belongingness and Love Needs”… family, affection, relationships, etc. Next to the top of the pyramid was “Esteem Needs”… achievement, responsibility, reputation, etc. The top of the pyramid was “Self Actualization”… personal growth and fulfillment.
It seemed to me, based on my life experiences that there were many organizations and institutions helping with the biological, physical and safety needs, but not many dedicated to the Belongingness, Esteem and Self Actualization needs. I had always had the basic needs met for me in life. My problems started when I tried to “just go on with life”, go out into the world and try to be a part “of it”.
In my life time the world has changed dramatically. For instance, when I was around three I had artificial arms. This is a whole blog unto itself for later! I attended a place called Scottish Rites Hospital for Crippled Children. It was the classic old hospital with wards and children lined up in rows. To this day I still have vivid memories of this experience. I was the first out patient that they had ever had. I went for a couple of hours several times a week and then left. This would have been in 1963/64. I visited their new facility in 1987, an open, airy, colorful place. Ninety-nine percent of all of their clients were outpatient by this time. Also with all of the advancements in medicine, many people who used to die from accidents or injuries live today. The number of disabled individuals is gowing.
To be a little arrogant, I guess I want to help people “Self Actualize” or at least get to the level of “Esteem Needs”! The only way that I know how to do this is to express the struggles that I’ve gone through in life. How have I gone from being a very shy, insecure person to putting my life out on the internet for all to see? For those that know me now it’s probably difficult to believe that I was shy… very shy and frightened of people. An old friend was in town recently. We haven’t spent a lot of time together in 25 years. She was amazed at how I just began conversations with people I didn’t know. She said that this was so unlike the person she used to know. Yet others who have known me all my life might say that I was never shy. In fact, I probably wasn’t until Junior High. It’s not what comes across on the outside that I care about; it’s what we feel like on the inside. This is what I’m trying to talk about in this blog.
What am I trying to accomplish with my blog? It’s an outlet for me. It is a way to begin to get some of my ideas “out there” and begin to get feedback. I guess the easiest way to explain where and what I think the blog is about is… In high school I was first exposed to Abraham Maslow. I was in a three hour advanced class in Dallas called, Man and His Environment. The class was geared towards the social sciences. I remember being fascinated with Maslow’s theory of needs. In the mid 1980’s after graduating from college and not being able to find a job I started a non-profit foundation called Disabled Orientation and Education Services (D.O.E.S.) in Nacogdoches, TX. So as you can see this blog is not my first foray into the issue of disability. Why do I keep coming back to it?
When I read Maslow, he described his theory of needs in terms of a pyramid. The bottom of the pyramid was “Biological and Physiological Needs”… food, water, etc. Once these needs were met then there were “Safety Needs”… protection, stability, law, etc. The third rung of the pyramid was “Belongingness and Love Needs”… family, affection, relationships, etc. Next to the top of the pyramid was “Esteem Needs”… achievement, responsibility, reputation, etc. The top of the pyramid was “Self Actualization”… personal growth and fulfillment.
It seemed to me, based on my life experiences that there were many organizations and institutions helping with the biological, physical and safety needs, but not many dedicated to the Belongingness, Esteem and Self Actualization needs. I had always had the basic needs met for me in life. My problems started when I tried to “just go on with life”, go out into the world and try to be a part “of it”.
In my life time the world has changed dramatically. For instance, when I was around three I had artificial arms. This is a whole blog unto itself for later! I attended a place called Scottish Rites Hospital for Crippled Children. It was the classic old hospital with wards and children lined up in rows. To this day I still have vivid memories of this experience. I was the first out patient that they had ever had. I went for a couple of hours several times a week and then left. This would have been in 1963/64. I visited their new facility in 1987, an open, airy, colorful place. Ninety-nine percent of all of their clients were outpatient by this time. Also with all of the advancements in medicine, many people who used to die from accidents or injuries live today. The number of disabled individuals is gowing.
To be a little arrogant, I guess I want to help people “Self Actualize” or at least get to the level of “Esteem Needs”! The only way that I know how to do this is to express the struggles that I’ve gone through in life. How have I gone from being a very shy, insecure person to putting my life out on the internet for all to see? For those that know me now it’s probably difficult to believe that I was shy… very shy and frightened of people. An old friend was in town recently. We haven’t spent a lot of time together in 25 years. She was amazed at how I just began conversations with people I didn’t know. She said that this was so unlike the person she used to know. Yet others who have known me all my life might say that I was never shy. In fact, I probably wasn’t until Junior High. It’s not what comes across on the outside that I care about; it’s what we feel like on the inside. This is what I’m trying to talk about in this blog.
Monday, December 10, 2007
(11th Entry) Change of Pace
Yesterday several things happened. I “played” in front of my new video camera which was a real eye opener. An excerpt of the “play time” is below. I’m trying to “get used” to being in front of the camera expressing myself. It’s so much more difficult than I expected. In my head I can just recite my ideas, stories, experience, etc., but put the camera in front of me… I begin to freeze, become self conscious. Like most people I hate looking at myself on camera... OK maybe you don’t!
One of the things I talked about in front of the camera yesterday was the subway experience I had in NYC back in 1988. What’s amazing (not really) is that the video becomes so much more emotional than the writings in the blog. Even as I wrote those entries about my subway experience, I kept asking myself, “Why was it so important?” In the video, it’s obvious. It just comes out. Even if there’s not a reason that’s obvious or maybe doesn’t seem to be a big deal to others, somewhere within me there’s emotions about this experience after all of these years.
Later I was having a conversation with another friend and I’m expressing this realization. His comment was to the effect… that didn’t come out in the blog writing! He’s right.
As I said from the beginning, the blog is a new adventure. It’s a little intimidating to all of a sudden be “out there” for all to see.
I’m writing this entry as fast as I possibly can. I type around 30 to 40 words a minute. In the beginning, like so much of my life, I wanted “you” to see that I am intelligent. One of the things that happens when you have a speech impediment is that people automatically assume that you’re subnormal intelligence. We all have a tendency to do this. I do. Isn’t that what we grow up learning?
I knew from the beginning that the blog would change over time. I knew that the original entries were to “in my head”! But… I had to start somewhere. Intellect is a great way to avoid feelings. This is by far the fastest entry that I’ve written.
I’m putting the video on the site so that you can see “me”! See the other side of me. The raw me! Like so many things in my life that are important to me, I want this to be perfect. I don’t want to make a fatal mistake that ends this endeavor before it begins. But then… It’s not all about me!
What I’m doing now in my life, what I’ve been working towards this past year or two is the greatest joy and excitement that I’ve had in a long time. For my dreams, my aspiration to be “happening” is amazing. For all of the support that I’ve received from family, friends and people that I’ve never met is absolutely amazing to me. So many people have volunteered their expertise to help me along my way. THANK YOU!
So in the future expect things to be a little less precise, a little less analytical, a few more grammatical errors (as if there hasn’t been a few already) and hopefully a great deal more feelings.
One of the things I talked about in front of the camera yesterday was the subway experience I had in NYC back in 1988. What’s amazing (not really) is that the video becomes so much more emotional than the writings in the blog. Even as I wrote those entries about my subway experience, I kept asking myself, “Why was it so important?” In the video, it’s obvious. It just comes out. Even if there’s not a reason that’s obvious or maybe doesn’t seem to be a big deal to others, somewhere within me there’s emotions about this experience after all of these years.
Later I was having a conversation with another friend and I’m expressing this realization. His comment was to the effect… that didn’t come out in the blog writing! He’s right.
As I said from the beginning, the blog is a new adventure. It’s a little intimidating to all of a sudden be “out there” for all to see.
I’m writing this entry as fast as I possibly can. I type around 30 to 40 words a minute. In the beginning, like so much of my life, I wanted “you” to see that I am intelligent. One of the things that happens when you have a speech impediment is that people automatically assume that you’re subnormal intelligence. We all have a tendency to do this. I do. Isn’t that what we grow up learning?
I knew from the beginning that the blog would change over time. I knew that the original entries were to “in my head”! But… I had to start somewhere. Intellect is a great way to avoid feelings. This is by far the fastest entry that I’ve written.
I’m putting the video on the site so that you can see “me”! See the other side of me. The raw me! Like so many things in my life that are important to me, I want this to be perfect. I don’t want to make a fatal mistake that ends this endeavor before it begins. But then… It’s not all about me!
What I’m doing now in my life, what I’ve been working towards this past year or two is the greatest joy and excitement that I’ve had in a long time. For my dreams, my aspiration to be “happening” is amazing. For all of the support that I’ve received from family, friends and people that I’ve never met is absolutely amazing to me. So many people have volunteered their expertise to help me along my way. THANK YOU!
So in the future expect things to be a little less precise, a little less analytical, a few more grammatical errors (as if there hasn’t been a few already) and hopefully a great deal more feelings.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
(10th Entry) Pride or Prejudice… Or? Part II
The previous entry needs a little more work.
Pride has to do with my ability or inability to ask for help. Prejudice has to do with what I take responsibility for in my life versus what I don’t. Both pride and prejudice occur when, “We just want to go on with life.”
What does it mean to “just go on with life?” To me it can mean so many things. A few examples… It’s when I do something just because I think it’s expected without asking myself why. It’s when I feel a certain way but I do an action without taking time to understand the feeling. It’s when I spend all of my time just trying to get by.
I can easily know when I’ve been in that “just going on with life” process when I all of a sudden I ask myself… “How did I get here?” “What do I want out of life?” “Am I happy?” And yes… there are times in life when this mechanism serves us quite well. But not forever!
The ability to ask for help is such a vital part of getting out of this, “just going on with life” process. Knowing when and for what I need to ask for help is essential for me to take responsibility for my life. When I’m ambivalent about my needs, instead of asking for help, I become demanding. When I’m ambivalent about my needs I can be frustrated or angry inside. When I’m ambivalent about my needs (emotional) I’m looking for others to fulfill them.
A disability can be… could be… is… was… will be… has been…
Painful
Unattractive
Imaginary
Hurtful
Real
Intimidating
Physical
Mental
Feelings
Emotional
Spiritual
Debilitating
Enlightening
Powerful
Energetic
Fun
Work
Persuasive
Inspiring
Humbling
Perceived
Humiliating
Powerful
Limiting
Attitude
As I stated in my “Mission Statement”, a disability is anything that keeps us from doing, or trying, or feeling good about ourselves. A disability is anything negative that we perceive about ourselves. BUT… a disability is also any positive attributes that we have that we don’t believe about ourselves.
TO BE DISABLED OR NOT TO BE DISABLED? THAT IS THE QUESTION.
IT’S A CHOICE!
You can be a person with a disability and yet not be a disabled person or vice versa.
“When we just go on with life,” we miss the chance, we miss the choice,
Pride has to do with my ability or inability to ask for help. Prejudice has to do with what I take responsibility for in my life versus what I don’t. Both pride and prejudice occur when, “We just want to go on with life.”
What does it mean to “just go on with life?” To me it can mean so many things. A few examples… It’s when I do something just because I think it’s expected without asking myself why. It’s when I feel a certain way but I do an action without taking time to understand the feeling. It’s when I spend all of my time just trying to get by.
I can easily know when I’ve been in that “just going on with life” process when I all of a sudden I ask myself… “How did I get here?” “What do I want out of life?” “Am I happy?” And yes… there are times in life when this mechanism serves us quite well. But not forever!
The ability to ask for help is such a vital part of getting out of this, “just going on with life” process. Knowing when and for what I need to ask for help is essential for me to take responsibility for my life. When I’m ambivalent about my needs, instead of asking for help, I become demanding. When I’m ambivalent about my needs I can be frustrated or angry inside. When I’m ambivalent about my needs (emotional) I’m looking for others to fulfill them.
A disability can be… could be… is… was… will be… has been…
Painful
Unattractive
Imaginary
Hurtful
Real
Intimidating
Physical
Mental
Feelings
Emotional
Spiritual
Debilitating
Enlightening
Powerful
Energetic
Fun
Work
Persuasive
Inspiring
Humbling
Perceived
Humiliating
Powerful
Limiting
Attitude
As I stated in my “Mission Statement”, a disability is anything that keeps us from doing, or trying, or feeling good about ourselves. A disability is anything negative that we perceive about ourselves. BUT… a disability is also any positive attributes that we have that we don’t believe about ourselves.
TO BE DISABLED OR NOT TO BE DISABLED? THAT IS THE QUESTION.
IT’S A CHOICE!
You can be a person with a disability and yet not be a disabled person or vice versa.
“When we just go on with life,” we miss the chance, we miss the choice,
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
(9th Entry) Pride or Prejudice… Or? Part I
(Really a continuation of… It’s all about me! Entries 7 & 8)
Pride or Prejudice… Or is there another option? This blog entry has the potential to be very trite or extremely profound. Nothing in the middle will suffice!
When I was sixteen while attending a retreat I participated in an exercise. One of the questions was, “if we died today what would we want our epitaph to read?” I came up with… “I do what I can and that which I can not do I do anyway.” This is the ultimate definition of “over-coming”. I am responsible. I do not need help. And definitely do not ask for help.
I can remember being at a mall or some other place that had multiple doors when I was younger. If someone held the door open for me I would walk to the other end and open the door for myself. I had to show them that I could do it for myself. One day I was asked, “Do you ever hold the door open for people?” And the next question was “Why”? When you’re over-coming something, it’s all about “you”. I need…! Most polite people hold the door for those behind them. It’s that simple. It wasn’t always a commentary on me.
The irony is that at the same time I would use my disability as a way of getting out things that I didn’t want to do. I wanted “my cake and eat it too” as the saying goes. I wanted the best of both worlds… Who doesn’t? I could often get away with it. The only problem is that this created guilt. I knew deep down that I wasn’t doing all that I could do in life. This is what made it so easy to judge or condemn the man on the subway. Look at me! Look at what I can do. Look at what I’m doing. Yet… “I held back, reserved, and never knew.”
Like I said at the beginning of this entry, it “has the potential to be very trite or extremely profound.” I wanted to throw these ideas out so that I can build upon it in the future. It might take more blog entries to clarify these ideas, however.
To over-come is pride! This is pretty simple to understand. To think that we don’t need others, or others help, that we can “go it alone” is total arrogance. But when you’re trying to over-come, you isolate yourself… maybe not physically or socially, but definitely emotionally.
Prejudice is much more complicated. My prejudice on the subway came from my anger, my frustration, my inability to understand what I was experiencing in life. I’ve listened and known so many people over the years that say that they just want to “go on with life”. But what does this mean? I wanted to go on with life. Yet…
The object is “to learn to live with and in” our disability. REMEMBER: Everyone has a disability… a wound of some sort!
Pride or Prejudice… Or is there another option? This blog entry has the potential to be very trite or extremely profound. Nothing in the middle will suffice!
When I was sixteen while attending a retreat I participated in an exercise. One of the questions was, “if we died today what would we want our epitaph to read?” I came up with… “I do what I can and that which I can not do I do anyway.” This is the ultimate definition of “over-coming”. I am responsible. I do not need help. And definitely do not ask for help.
I can remember being at a mall or some other place that had multiple doors when I was younger. If someone held the door open for me I would walk to the other end and open the door for myself. I had to show them that I could do it for myself. One day I was asked, “Do you ever hold the door open for people?” And the next question was “Why”? When you’re over-coming something, it’s all about “you”. I need…! Most polite people hold the door for those behind them. It’s that simple. It wasn’t always a commentary on me.
The irony is that at the same time I would use my disability as a way of getting out things that I didn’t want to do. I wanted “my cake and eat it too” as the saying goes. I wanted the best of both worlds… Who doesn’t? I could often get away with it. The only problem is that this created guilt. I knew deep down that I wasn’t doing all that I could do in life. This is what made it so easy to judge or condemn the man on the subway. Look at me! Look at what I can do. Look at what I’m doing. Yet… “I held back, reserved, and never knew.”
Like I said at the beginning of this entry, it “has the potential to be very trite or extremely profound.” I wanted to throw these ideas out so that I can build upon it in the future. It might take more blog entries to clarify these ideas, however.
To over-come is pride! This is pretty simple to understand. To think that we don’t need others, or others help, that we can “go it alone” is total arrogance. But when you’re trying to over-come, you isolate yourself… maybe not physically or socially, but definitely emotionally.
Prejudice is much more complicated. My prejudice on the subway came from my anger, my frustration, my inability to understand what I was experiencing in life. I’ve listened and known so many people over the years that say that they just want to “go on with life”. But what does this mean? I wanted to go on with life. Yet…
The object is “to learn to live with and in” our disability. REMEMBER: Everyone has a disability… a wound of some sort!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
(8th Entry) It’s All About Me! Part II
I remember so vividly sitting in that subway car as this man passed me by. Tears just began streaming down my face. I “lost it” in the NYC subway system. Not exactly the best place to lose it. But the question is why did I “lose it”?
All we know is our own reality… yet sometimes that reality is shattered, turned upside-down. As I write this I find it extremely difficult to put into words.
We live in a world of “normal” people for the most part. Most people look alike physically… they walk, they have hands, and they speak clearly. I lived in a world that I perceived myself to be “normal”. I could do so many of the things people might not have expected me to be able do or that people said that I would never do. This must mean that I am “normal”.
At this point in my life I was still trying “to over-come” who I was. I wanted everyone to know that I didn’t have to panhandle, that I was capable of “doing” many things. I was still trying to prove myself to myself and others.
Somehow in this subway car I made the connection that I was judging this man as others might be judging me. A quote I remember from long ago… “When we forget who we are, we forget how to act.” (Unfortunately I don’t know who said this.) My feelings, my emotions had very little to do with him. They really had to do with how I felt about myself. Who I was, who I wanted to be! Yet my feelings, however unaware I was of them, were focused on him until I was able to make that connection to myself.
More to be revealed!!!
All we know is our own reality… yet sometimes that reality is shattered, turned upside-down. As I write this I find it extremely difficult to put into words.
We live in a world of “normal” people for the most part. Most people look alike physically… they walk, they have hands, and they speak clearly. I lived in a world that I perceived myself to be “normal”. I could do so many of the things people might not have expected me to be able do or that people said that I would never do. This must mean that I am “normal”.
At this point in my life I was still trying “to over-come” who I was. I wanted everyone to know that I didn’t have to panhandle, that I was capable of “doing” many things. I was still trying to prove myself to myself and others.
Somehow in this subway car I made the connection that I was judging this man as others might be judging me. A quote I remember from long ago… “When we forget who we are, we forget how to act.” (Unfortunately I don’t know who said this.) My feelings, my emotions had very little to do with him. They really had to do with how I felt about myself. Who I was, who I wanted to be! Yet my feelings, however unaware I was of them, were focused on him until I was able to make that connection to myself.
More to be revealed!!!
Monday, December 3, 2007
(7th Entry) It’s All About Me! Part I
I first visited New York City back in October of 1988. (It’ll become obvious as you read my blog that the mid to late 80’s were a very influential period in my life.) I had several good friends who had moved to NY a few years earlier and I was finally having an opportunity to visit them. I remember my first day in Manhattan. It was getting dark and we were walking through The Village. I remember asking them, “Is this safe?” and being a little apprehensive. By my second day I was riding the subway all over by myself. To this day I love NY! I get treated incredibly well there. I always have. (This is probably another blog at some point in time.)
Much of my time on this trip was spent hopping on the subway, getting off, walking around, drinking coffee, hopping back on the subway, etc. Over the course of a few days I noticed that there were quite a few disabled individuals out panhandling. I began noticing more and more. One day I hopped on the express train on my way to visit MoMA. There were approximately 15 to 20 people in the car. At the other end, as the train pulls out of the station, a man enters from the next car who is obviously disabled. He’s walking with a crutch, holding a can and asking for money. I notice people giving him money. As he begins to get closer to me I begin to get more and more uncomfortable.
I begin thinking all of these thoughts: This guy is going to just use the money to get wasted. Why doesn’t the bum just get a job? Then the most amazing thoughts began to surface: Should I give him money? What will the other people think if I give him money? What will they think if I don’t give him money?
All of a sudden a phrase came into my head, “But for the Grace of God, there go I!” I didn’t have a job. In fact I couldn’t even get a one. I had wasted much of my life not being productive. So who was I to judge, to be judging?
But I was! I felt superior to him and yet inferior to those around. In my head I am condemning him, having absolutely no compassion for who he is or what he might be going through. I’m only worried about how people might be viewing me! What are they going to think of me?
What was it about this person that brought out such emotions within me? Why had I begun to notice so many disabled individuals panhandling? I had joked with my friends prior to this event that I wanted to get dressed in old clothes and try panhandling. There’s a part of me to this day that wishes I had done so.
Why was this event so powerful for me? Why do I consider it one of the major life changing events in my life? It’s another one of those… It’ll take more than one blog entry to explain.
As I sit here writing… I’m asking myself those very question? Why was it so influential? Why have I never forgotten this event?
Remember my simple definition of a disability… “anything that keeps us from doing, or trying, or feeling good about ourselves.” It was the complete realization that who I was, who I wanted to be, what I thought I was and who I could be didn’t match.
To be continued in my next blog…
Much of my time on this trip was spent hopping on the subway, getting off, walking around, drinking coffee, hopping back on the subway, etc. Over the course of a few days I noticed that there were quite a few disabled individuals out panhandling. I began noticing more and more. One day I hopped on the express train on my way to visit MoMA. There were approximately 15 to 20 people in the car. At the other end, as the train pulls out of the station, a man enters from the next car who is obviously disabled. He’s walking with a crutch, holding a can and asking for money. I notice people giving him money. As he begins to get closer to me I begin to get more and more uncomfortable.
I begin thinking all of these thoughts: This guy is going to just use the money to get wasted. Why doesn’t the bum just get a job? Then the most amazing thoughts began to surface: Should I give him money? What will the other people think if I give him money? What will they think if I don’t give him money?
All of a sudden a phrase came into my head, “But for the Grace of God, there go I!” I didn’t have a job. In fact I couldn’t even get a one. I had wasted much of my life not being productive. So who was I to judge, to be judging?
But I was! I felt superior to him and yet inferior to those around. In my head I am condemning him, having absolutely no compassion for who he is or what he might be going through. I’m only worried about how people might be viewing me! What are they going to think of me?
What was it about this person that brought out such emotions within me? Why had I begun to notice so many disabled individuals panhandling? I had joked with my friends prior to this event that I wanted to get dressed in old clothes and try panhandling. There’s a part of me to this day that wishes I had done so.
Why was this event so powerful for me? Why do I consider it one of the major life changing events in my life? It’s another one of those… It’ll take more than one blog entry to explain.
As I sit here writing… I’m asking myself those very question? Why was it so influential? Why have I never forgotten this event?
Remember my simple definition of a disability… “anything that keeps us from doing, or trying, or feeling good about ourselves.” It was the complete realization that who I was, who I wanted to be, what I thought I was and who I could be didn’t match.
To be continued in my next blog…
Saturday, December 1, 2007
(6th Entry) I’m “Doing” a Lot of Things…
I’m doing a lot of things that I said I would never do or never do again! This year, 2007, has been an exciting year. The year started out with a visit to New York City in January where I met a new friend going to The New School majoring in documentary film making. He mentioned that he would like to film me. Of course my reaction was NO! BUT… I would love to work together and do some documentaries on the issue of disability.
My family has an importing business which wholesales Mexican made goods in the U. S. (My entire family lives in Mexico.) One of our business partners had been listening to me talk about my desire to do many of the things listed in the Mission Statement. One morning he calls up all excited… “We’re having problems with production. Why don’t we open our own factory and we can even hire disabled individuals.”
A week ago Friday I’m having a conversation with another friend. We came to the conclusion that the quickest thing I can do to begin to get my message out was to do a BLOG. Well… that was a week ago today. Life seems to be moving exponentially faster these days.
So what am I doing that I said I would never do or never do again?
The first thing is talking publicly about hiring disabled individuals. Let people know what I am doing. There’s a part me that says NO! Don’t do it. (In my next blog, I’ll tell a story about an experience that I had in the NYC subway in 1988 called “It’s All About Me!”) On the other hand (no pun intended), I’m really excited to be doing something, to have a dream come true. It’s a delicate balancing act, one which I’ll talk extensively about in my book on my life in corporate America.
Milestone: Last Monday our first disabled individual started at our new factory. Next Monday our second person starts.
Reality: If we can sell more, we can hire more people. It’s a simple business equation.
My dilemma is… “How do I balance all of this?” How do I have a dream and yet make it a reality without sacrificing the integrity of the endeavor.
Second, I really didn’t want to go before the camera again. I recently purchased a semi-professional video camera to begin working on documentaries. As I said, back in January I was adamant about not going in front of the camera. As soon as I received the camera a good friend of mine suggested that I could do Pod Casts. (I bought an iPod in August which has opened up a whole knew world for me. I’m so behind in technology.) I realized quickly that I couldn’t ask people to go in front of the camera if I wasn’t willing to do so myself.
Bottom Line: If I truly have a Dream, I have to be willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it! My dream can’t materialize living like a hermit.
My family has an importing business which wholesales Mexican made goods in the U. S. (My entire family lives in Mexico.) One of our business partners had been listening to me talk about my desire to do many of the things listed in the Mission Statement. One morning he calls up all excited… “We’re having problems with production. Why don’t we open our own factory and we can even hire disabled individuals.”
A week ago Friday I’m having a conversation with another friend. We came to the conclusion that the quickest thing I can do to begin to get my message out was to do a BLOG. Well… that was a week ago today. Life seems to be moving exponentially faster these days.
So what am I doing that I said I would never do or never do again?
The first thing is talking publicly about hiring disabled individuals. Let people know what I am doing. There’s a part me that says NO! Don’t do it. (In my next blog, I’ll tell a story about an experience that I had in the NYC subway in 1988 called “It’s All About Me!”) On the other hand (no pun intended), I’m really excited to be doing something, to have a dream come true. It’s a delicate balancing act, one which I’ll talk extensively about in my book on my life in corporate America.
Milestone: Last Monday our first disabled individual started at our new factory. Next Monday our second person starts.
Reality: If we can sell more, we can hire more people. It’s a simple business equation.
My dilemma is… “How do I balance all of this?” How do I have a dream and yet make it a reality without sacrificing the integrity of the endeavor.
Second, I really didn’t want to go before the camera again. I recently purchased a semi-professional video camera to begin working on documentaries. As I said, back in January I was adamant about not going in front of the camera. As soon as I received the camera a good friend of mine suggested that I could do Pod Casts. (I bought an iPod in August which has opened up a whole knew world for me. I’m so behind in technology.) I realized quickly that I couldn’t ask people to go in front of the camera if I wasn’t willing to do so myself.
Bottom Line: If I truly have a Dream, I have to be willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it! My dream can’t materialize living like a hermit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
