(18th Entry) IMAGINE!

Imagine… being a little kid… going out into the world trying to do things that other kids do and… having others stare at you, asking… “What’s wrong with you? What happened to you? “Here, let me help you? The worst is when parents of young kids grab their children when they begin to stare or ask questions as if there’s something morbidly wrong. I’ve literally seen parent clasps their hand over their child’s mouth and drag them away. (Although… every once in a while, you’ll have a parent say to their child… “Why don’t you go talk to them, ask them…”)

As a little child or a newly disabled individual, how are you supposed to deal with this? Because… at the same time, if you’re actually out in the world trying to do things or actually doing things you’re hearing… You’re amazing. You’re a miracle. I couldn’t do that if… God has big plans for you. You can do anything if… You’re such an inspiration…

Imagine again being this little kid… On the one hand, people are staring at you as if you’re a freak in a circus side-show ever being reminded that you’re different somehow. Yet… On the other hand, you have this feeling of responsibility being placed upon you. Yes, you’re different and because of this you hold “power” over people. You have an influence, an ability “to get” or “to get out of”!

It’s a very complex phenomenon or dichotomy! For me it eventually posed itself in the form of this question… “How am I the same and how am I different?” A question, a dilemma which occupied my life for many years...

Imagine again you’re that child… or maybe recently injured in a traumatic event. Imagine you’re the parent of… the sibling of… a friend of… How are you feeling? What are you thinking? Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you numb? In the beginning, you’re just trying to survive… to do… You’re trying to meet those basic needs (See Entry 12… Maslow’s Hierarchy of…) You’re “just trying to go on with life”!

A question that I’ve been asked is… What is my opinion of the difference between someone born with a disability and some who becomes disabled later in life? One thing that I’ve noticed is that someone disabled later in life usually doesn’t struggle with this question of… How am I the same and how am I different in quite the same way? If you’re injured towards your late adolescent years or later you’ve had the opportunity to “be the same”, to experience life as being “normal”… what ever that is…

Another simple observation along with a little investigation… people who have a healthy, happy life prior to being injured seem to have happy healthy lives after an injury… maybe not overnight, but eventually. And then others who become injured later in life, take this opportunity to have a useful, healthy and happy life… others don’t. I’ve had people tell me that becoming disabled was the greatest blessing that they had ever been given in life. Their live’s had finally been given meaning or maybe as I put it they gave meaning to what happened to them. They actually had to look at their lives as opposed to just going on with life.