(12th Entry) Why?

As I change pace in the blog I’m at a loss of what to write about today. I’ve posted on the blog that I’ll have an entry for today, so I feel obligated? The blog is dedicated to the issue of disability, yet so far I’ve been writing essentially about myself, my experiences… Why?

What am I trying to accomplish with my blog? It’s an outlet for me. It is a way to begin to get some of my ideas “out there” and begin to get feedback. I guess the easiest way to explain where and what I think the blog is about is… In high school I was first exposed to Abraham Maslow. I was in a three hour advanced class in Dallas called, Man and His Environment. The class was geared towards the social sciences. I remember being fascinated with Maslow’s theory of needs. In the mid 1980’s after graduating from college and not being able to find a job I started a non-profit foundation called Disabled Orientation and Education Services (D.O.E.S.) in Nacogdoches, TX. So as you can see this blog is not my first foray into the issue of disability. Why do I keep coming back to it?

When I read Maslow, he described his theory of needs in terms of a pyramid. The bottom of the pyramid was “Biological and Physiological Needs”… food, water, etc. Once these needs were met then there were “Safety Needs”… protection, stability, law, etc. The third rung of the pyramid was “Belongingness and Love Needs”… family, affection, relationships, etc. Next to the top of the pyramid was “Esteem Needs”… achievement, responsibility, reputation, etc. The top of the pyramid was “Self Actualization”… personal growth and fulfillment.

It seemed to me, based on my life experiences that there were many organizations and institutions helping with the biological, physical and safety needs, but not many dedicated to the Belongingness, Esteem and Self Actualization needs. I had always had the basic needs met for me in life. My problems started when I tried to “just go on with life”, go out into the world and try to be a part “of it”.

In my life time the world has changed dramatically. For instance, when I was around three I had artificial arms. This is a whole blog unto itself for later! I attended a place called Scottish Rites Hospital for Crippled Children. It was the classic old hospital with wards and children lined up in rows. To this day I still have vivid memories of this experience. I was the first out patient that they had ever had. I went for a couple of hours several times a week and then left. This would have been in 1963/64. I visited their new facility in 1987, an open, airy, colorful place. Ninety-nine percent of all of their clients were outpatient by this time. Also with all of the advancements in medicine, many people who used to die from accidents or injuries live today. The number of disabled individuals is gowing.

To be a little arrogant, I guess I want to help people “Self Actualize” or at least get to the level of “Esteem Needs”! The only way that I know how to do this is to express the struggles that I’ve gone through in life. How have I gone from being a very shy, insecure person to putting my life out on the internet for all to see? For those that know me now it’s probably difficult to believe that I was shy… very shy and frightened of people. An old friend was in town recently. We haven’t spent a lot of time together in 25 years. She was amazed at how I just began conversations with people I didn’t know. She said that this was so unlike the person she used to know. Yet others who have known me all my life might say that I was never shy. In fact, I probably wasn’t until Junior High. It’s not what comes across on the outside that I care about; it’s what we feel like on the inside. This is what I’m trying to talk about in this blog.