(52nd Entry) What is a disability? In words…

Once while sitting in an all night coffee shop in East Texas during my college years… a man handed me a note. It was written on a paper napkin and simply said, “Personally I consider myself as a strong adaptable human being. However when I look at you I am humbled.” I don’t have the napkin with me so this might not be completely accurate, but the idea is there…

It seems to me… All of us think of ourselves, perceive ourselves, and limit ourselves by our own beliefs about ourselves and the beliefs of those around us. I don’t want to minimize anyone that has a physical, mental, emotional or any other type of disability, but I want to challenge all of us think beyond our own current beliefs about ourselves, our own perceived reality.

Why is someone humbled by the sight of me? I actually don’t think it was the sight of me that he was speaking of… The town was small. I’m sure he had seen me many times before. It was that I was “out there, doing things” that made him think about himself. I think he might have been saying to himself… I have all of my body “strong adaptable” and this guy… well?

I think back to my realization on the subway in New York City (described earlier in a blog entry) and my entry about “all we know is our own reality” and realize how easy it is to limit ourselves. We think of ourselves as “who we are” in our minds, our perception of ourselves. After all… we are who we are. Then all of a sudden… we’re confronted by someone or an event, maybe something that was done or said or by someone’s appearance. We’re taken out of our own reality, our own comfort zone and must reflect back upon ourselves… asking ourselves… what if? What if I were that person? What would I be like? What would I or could I…?

People bring out emotions in others. A compelling story of someone’s accomplishment or a person who has overcome adversity always inspires, brings out in people certain emotions, energy. I used this line several times since beginning this blog… “When we forget who we are, we forget how to act.” Or possibly… When we forget who we are, we forget how to feel… as well.

This applies to both disabled individuals and non-disabled individuals. In talking about the subject of disability one difficulty is that I say that everyone has a disability, yet I just categorized people into disabled and non-disabled. Maybe it would be better to say that everyone has a “wound”… and then there are those who are disabled in terms of the world… still a label. It’s this “wound” that causes all of us to empathize, to have sympathy and to have compassion.

I’ve talked before about Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. Once we begin to take care of those basic needs… food, clothing, security… What’s next? Those higher needs… belongingness/love… self esteem… and ultimately self actualization.

What does it mean to be disabled… to have a disability? As Maslow said… you have to have the basic needs, those needs at the base of the pyramid met before moving up to the higher needs. I’ve always felt that there were many good people and many good organizations working with, helping with the basic needs, the physical needs.

My goal, my focus is to ask the question… What happens after I meet these basic needs? How do I go into the world, live my life and be successful? My belief is that in order to be successful in the world as a disabled individual, it’s a combination of understanding ourselves, our needs… as well as the effects that we have on those around us. It’s about learning to be an individual, independent of others… yet being able to accept any help that we might need and any feelings that we bring out in others.