(21st Entry) Where to, What next? (Continued)

As I write many of my blog entries or more accurately as I look back at them sometimes I wonder where “this” is coming from. One of my favorite papers in college was a short paper entitled, “Why Have People Forgotten the Classics.” I remember a conversation with the professor afterwards. He said about my paper that these were basic questions that all serious students asked. He also mentioned how disappointed he was in the commitment of most of the students. He said that most of them didn’t even read the assigned books or engage in dialogue in the classroom. Feeling embarrassed I admitted to him that I had written my paper beginning at midnight the day that it was due. He looked at me and said something to the effect, you might have begun writing it at midnight but you were preparing for it all semester.

Oddly enough, this was an Eastern Political Thought Class and the professor was someone who influenced me greatly. His comment goes so well with the Chinese proverb, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” This blog has been an amazing experience.

You might ask what does this entry or so many of the entries have to do with the issue of disability… especially since I say that the site is dedicated to the issue of disability!

It’s as if I’ve been preparing my whole life for this blog or the blog (the teacher) came along when I (the student) was ready.

So far the blog has focused on me… my life, my experiences. That makes sense since I’m writing it. I’m trying to relate to others (YOU) through my personal experiences and philosophy. In my Mission Statement, I’ve outlined my high level goals, desires, wishes…

I’ve mentioned that one of the questions I’ve struggled with much of my life is how am I same and how am I different. When I was young I think that I probably felt much more like others than I did different. I don’t recall being extremely self conscious in my pre-teen years. In the summer of 1973 my family moved into a new house, in a new neighborhood, etc. I went to a new school where no one knew me. That was tough, but it wasn’t devastating.

Oddly enough it was the next summer (1974) when I went to summer camp that this question began to crystallize. I received an award at the end of the camp session for being the most… “something” At each of the older camp sessions one male and one female received this award called the Crucis Cross. After receiving this award I began to ask myself… Did I receive it because I’m different? Did I deserve it? After all, being who I am I have no control over how others look at me. It’s ironic, but as I look back to this event 33 years ago… I probably was me, the real me, the natural me. I probably got this award for being who I was.

Somehow after that my life began to change.

I’ve mentioned that I was in a special class in high school called Man and His Environment. There’s a saying… art imitates life. You had to be chosen for this class. I remember the interview process and receiving a notice that I had been chosen. The class had some of the top students in the district. It was an amazing experience for this reason and the curriculum as well. It was a social science cluster conducted at the college level. To make a long story short… I never really turned in any work. I read all of the material and learned a tremendous amount, but never had to turn in any of the work. I got by with that… It was strange, but I had a feeling… When my parents asked why I had incompletes and had not done the work… One teacher answered something to the effect we thought he would be a good example for the other students. In other words, I wasn’t there for me, I was there for others.

I did the work for me even though others didn’t expect much from me.

I’m working towards a point… it took me a long to time to realize that I, we, have so much more in common than we can think or imagine. I’m probably also working towards the answer to… Why are myths important?

To be continued in the next blog…