(24th Entry) Where to, What next? (Conclusion)

In so many ways this title describes my life. In my second book that I’m working on (which deals with the dichotomies of life based on the issue of disability as a metaphor) begins with “To Dream, To Touch” (Entry 2). The first line after that is… “My life has been spent vacillating between two extremes… Hope and Hopelessness! This might sound depressing, and at times is has been, but… What keeps us going? What makes us “go on with life?” Why don’t we give up? What gives us hope?

Life for me has been about bringing together the dichotomies or paradoxes in life… those sets of opposites.

I’m the same; I’m different. I can; I can’t. I’ll try; I give up. There’s a way to do…; it’s impossible. I’ll get a job one day; I’ll never have a job. I can take care of myself; I’ll never be independent. The list goes on…

“Where to, What next?” Is this all that there is in life? Is this all I’ll ever be in life? I’m never going to…

On the other hand…

“Where to, What next?” Wow! Look what I’ve done! Look how far I’ve come! I want to; I’m going to…

“To be disabled or not to be disabled?” That is the question… It’s a choice? (In writing short blog entries it is difficult at times not to come across as trite or insincere which is why I try to weave my life experiences into my points.)

After college… the first time… I had a feeling that people didn’t want to hire me. I went on interviews, but it was that question… What can you do? Not only were they asking, but I was asking myself. It‘s a lot easier to be motivated when you have confidence than when you don’t. It’s a lot easier to have confidence when you’ve had good experiences rather than bad.

I said in the last entry via the quote from my book on my life in corporate America, “I accomplished what I had set out to accomplish which was… To know that I could make it in this world, compete with others, and be successful.” We have a choice in life. To prove to ourselves or to prove to others! Which is most important?

What truly gives us hope and motivation? When you’ve had bad experiences or less than positive lets say… How do you go on? You hear a lot of people say, “It’s all in your attitude.” It’s like the old question… which came first, the chicken or the egg? Which does come first? Your attitude and then your experiences; or do your experiences then your attitude? To me, it’s a cause and effect which happens both ways. Sometimes simultaneously and sometimes each on there own.

More to come….