(34th Entry) The Valentine’s that never were…

If anyone remembers this song, please let me know what it is and who sang it… “The Valentine’s That Never Were” and I don’t even know if this was the title or just a line in the song.

One night as a child in a restaurant in Dallas, we went to an Italian restaurant to hear a friend sing. She was actually the daughter of my parent’s friends. Her name was Leslie and she was blind. Leslie sang and played the piano. She sang the song that I mentioned above. I just remember hearing a remark or remarks like… “It just has so much more meaning when she sings it.”

I don’t know why I’m writing this except that I’ve always held this in my memory and well, what is today?

The things we remember from childhood, the things that influence us, affect us… while this can have so many different meanings, positive, negative or even a statement of a person’s emotion whose just being honest at the moment… When we hear things we interpret them where we are in that moment of our own lives. As I’ve said a few times before in this blog… So many of us just want to “go on with life”

I think there’s only two options in life… to go on with life blindly just letting things happen and have the events in our lives dictate that direction or… look at our lives, ask questions, face the bigger questions and help determine the direction that we take in life. If I have to say which option I feel strongly about, then I’ve done a poor job in this blog.

I’ve always remembered this event in my life and because of that I have been able to change my perception and alter the meaning of that event in my life. Today I chose to look at it differently than I did 35+ years ago. Back then I chose to look at it as if there was something wrong with Leslie and thus me as well and because of that people feel sorry for us and we were less than. Today, much like I stated in Entry 32, I look back at Leslie and realize that she could make this song more meaningful in a positive way. Back then I looked at everything in terms of its negative effects. Leslie went out and lived her life regardless of her blindness.

Our attitude determines much of the way that we view the events in our lives. I’m not one of those people who think you can just think positive thoughts and everything is going to be ok. I think you can be positive, but still deal with the issues. I think ultimately you must deal with the issues in order to have a really positive outlook. I’m trying not to use the word “pain”, because it has such a powerful connotation. Kahlil Gibran in his book THE PROPHET says, “Pain is the cracking of the shell that encloses our understanding.” This is the pain that I’m describing. It’s the pain of having to ask questions and understand who we are, what we have done and what has been done to us. It goes back to… Do things happen for a reason? Or, do we give meaning to the things that happen to us? (Entry 5)

I look back now and realize… All we know is our own reality (Entry 3). I can’t imagine being blind! If I heard Leslie sing that song today I would have a completely different reaction. I am not that same little boy, with those same thoughts and feelings. Even as I think back, I realize that for me Leslie gives this song more meaning today, because of my own life experiences and the bond that we share.